A FEW PAGES 

OF 

MY LOST DIARY

 

 

 

 

Menonim Menonimus

 

 

 

 

Growhills Publishing

Kamalpur, Barpeta (Assam)

 

 

A Few Pages of My Lost Diary‘  A collection of autobiographical essays by Menonim Menonimus, Published by www.menonimus.com

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 Rights Reserved

 

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D. T. P. By 

Adid Shahriar

 

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PREFACE

Since the beginning of my high school life, I began to scribe on Diary where, besides recording my daily happenings, I unlocked my brain and heart but it is a matter of regret that all the pages of my Diary have been lost for want of a suitable pot. Only a few of them which have survived the decay of time are collected in this lean volume.

Menonim Menonimus

Santi Kanan

 

 

CONTENTS

1. How I spent the First Day of the 21st Century

2. My Aunt’s Death

3. A Day of Thought on Death

4. A Day Without Food

5. Arguments With My Wife on the Sense of Beauty

6. A Hungry Day

7. A Scene of Urinating in Public

8. The Death of My Grandfather

9. A Busy Day

10. Why a Child Become Unwilling to Go to School

11. A Visit to Shitoli

12. I Have Come Across a Great Book   

 

A FEW PAGES OF MY LOST DIARY (TEXT)

How I Spent  the First Day of the 21st Century

January 1, 2001

Today is the 1st day of 2001 and with this day the new year of the twenty-first century has begun. I had a hope to enjoy the morning sun rising scene of the 1st day of the 21st century. But I could not because ‘yester-night’, that means the last night of the gone century; I went late to my bed. When slumber came to my mind and eyes, then all of sudden a noise of outbursting of fire-works struck at my ears and broke up my slumber for the rest hours of the night. For about two hours the noisy outburst of fire-works had been going on without a cease. And along with the fire-works the noisy western music was playing on in video and tape recorders in full swing. Thus, the youths of our surrounding villages were welcoming the New Year. Already another sound of gnawing something came to my ears and then I got up from my bed quickly and making my hand-torch on, I saw that a rat had been gnawing my books which were kept on a shelf in a huddle, as I’d no almirahs to keep them safe. It struck at my mind badly as my books are my good friends in my solitary hours. I bought the books with much difficulty in spite of my poverty. I then sent the rat away and again fell in my bed. But no sleep came to me. It was 2. A. M. The night was declining to dawn. I wished had sleep came to my eyes! But sleep was far away from my eyes. Then a thought, instead of sleep, came in my mind and then I began to run after the thought. The thought was rounding a thought roughly done beforehand. I took the avail of it and made a successful solution. But the rumination of the thought to conclusion had snatched away the remaining hours of the night from me. And hence I could not have my sleep. Only when it became dawn and the sun was about to rise after only half an hour then sleep came to both my mind and eyes. When I woke up I saw that it was two hours late. Hence I could not enjoy the first sun rising scene of the year. Yet, after getting up from my bed, I looked at the sky. But the sky was cloudy. Some long and leaning rays of the sun fell upon the clouds and got reflected and those reflected light had brightened the morning. The weather was cold. The light cold wind was blowing. I shivered and went up to the bank of our pond attached to our kitchen. Besides the kitchen, there was a pappy tree, suddenly the glance of my eyes went to the top of the tree and saw that a little bird with brown and yellow colour was eating away a ripen pappy. Then I washed up my hand and face and took a glass of water as my breakfast and with it, my day began.

First, I went to the field which was ploughed the day before and I began to break the ‘boulders’ that means heavy sods, with a hand club. I did it for two hours and returned home. After returning home, I took my food for the day, and the second stage of my work began. I took a hoe and began to dig a piece of craggy and rough piece of land attached to my home with a view to cleanse and plain it. I did it for three hours and by then the sun had begun to lean to the afternoon. I hurriedly postponed the hoeing of that piece of land and took bath as soon as it was possible. As the dinner, I took a glass of water and ran to the field again. There I broke the sod with a heavy club as I did in the morning. I returned home after the sun-set and washed off my hand and face. I got tired and hungry and hence I took my supper soon.

Usually, in a new year’s day, people exchange good-wishes, goodwill and wish a peaceful, happy and prosperous bright future to each other. There are some people, especially youths, send greeting cards to their friends, beloveds and relatives. This year some millions of greeting cards are also sold in the markets. In many localities, though comparatively few, this custom had been celebrated well. But I never do so. I never bless or send good wishes to others and never have I hoped to have such bliss and good wish. If somebody does so to me, I hesitate to receive. 

Here to note well that from this day, I decide to write a diary regularly. But what is a diary? I mean, Diary is the everyday record of the doings and happenings of a person. But, I have neither patience nor time enough to continue the practice of writing a diary every day. So I’ve decided to write a diary of those special days only in which something special is done by me or happens to me which is important or significant or memorable or worth mentioning for me. 0 0 0

 

My Aunt’s Death

January 30, 2001

I had got up earlier from bed and washing up my hand and face and having a glass of well-water as my break-fast I began to read, especially English Dictionary. Here to say that when I get a little time with my mind something less thoughtful, I generally read nothing but the dictionary with a view to enlarge the scope of my vocabulary. This day also I began to do so, but while I  began to commit a word then suddenly, one of my far-off cousins appeared in front of me with sad news and announced: “Your aunt is no more; she died yester-night at 10:30”. As soon as I heard the news I startled. The aunt was not our nearest one but was very dear and affectionate to me. She was the daughter of my mother’s aunt. She was of my mother’s age and since their childhood; my mother and she were hand and glove friends. As my mother was illiterate so was she as both were not sent to school.  Like my mother, she was also a victim of child marriage. Often she visited us and loved us (I and my younger brother), fondled us and embraced us as her own children. Unfortunately, she lost her husband after two years of her marriage while she gave birth to a boy child. Many of her relatives advised her to enter into a second marriage, but she refused to do so and thus she had been spending her remaining days on the earth being a widow embracing the only son. She had no other relatives of from her husband’s side as her husband had no brother. Even she had not found her father-in-law. Hence she had to spend her widow life through a lot of problems including poverty. But she never lost her heart and lived a very active and spirited life. Some wicket people allured her to violate her chastity but she was not a being of that kind. She was alive about thirty-five years after her husband’s death.

After hearing the news, I postponed my reading and taking bath hastily I started to go to my aunts home riding on a bicycle. Her home was about ten kilometres eastward from our home. It took an hour to reach there. Going there, I saw that the corpse was lying on the bed. Beside her, my mother was sitting lamenting her death. Here to say that my mother had gone to that home three days before her death as my mother heard earlier that she was ill and had been suffering for a month. About 2 p.m. her Janaja (funeral ceremony) was arranged and attending the funeral, I came back home riding on the same bicycle leaving her in the grave forever. Her only son Layakat, as I saw had been suffering from fever since long for which he could not wait upon her ill mother.

On the way home, I entered my Father-in-law’s home who assured to assist me I as I was poverty-stricken. But the path he showed me was beyond my reach. Hence I gave up the hope of getting practical help from my father-in-law.

I came back home just after the sunset. The whole day spent in the mournful mood. 0 0 0

 

A  Day of Though on Death

February 7, 2001

Today, as I usually do,  got up not early but late in the morning while it was eight of the clock. Washing my hand and face I did nothing for two hours except listening to the radio. In radio, I had heard an Assamese song from Akashbani Guwahati, one Bengali song from Radia Dhaka radio and one Hindi song sung by Mohammad Rafi from Sri Lanka radio centre. All the songs were tragic and pathetic. After half-past nine, I took my meal and took to work on the latrine. As my economic condition was worse, so hardly could I build a sanitary latrine, though I wanted it to be built. Hence I built a general latrine the tank of which was made of bamboo. It was built two years ago. But as it was worn out, it needed repairing and hence at half-past ten, I along with my younger brother began to repair it. It took three hours to get repaired.

After completing the work of latrine repairing, I took a bath and had a glass of water as my lunch, I went to the field where I worked for two hours. In the field I sowed the seeds of Bhendi (ladies finger) along with my dear younger brother. And after the sunset, we came back home.

Physically, I was busy with such manual work but mentally I was thinking of writing the biography of a poet. But here to note that I think little of what I want to write, but I think much of how I will write. Matters and matters, topics and topics are there on the earth, in my society, in my family, in me and even in my mind. So I have not to think and search for a topic to write on— I have only to pluck up what I want. But plucking up a topic to write about I spent hours and hours for a suitable style and method of representing it.

Next thought that my mind was pursuing on besides my physical work was the thought of death.  My mind recalled the death of my father, of my grandfather, of my uncle, of my aunt, of my kith and kin. I ran after the thought and found that all who were my sponsors and guardians and who loved and fondled me warmly had left the world. I felt lonely. This thought begotten sighs on me. I began to think: the world is meaningless. One day I must leave the world and the day is not much away from me. That is approaching and approaching me. This thought had driven me into the sea of pessimism and then I lost the spirit to do my duty. This thought continued to frequent me till the sunset and then I shook off my body and mind and arrived at a conclusion that I must live and do my duty till my death. 0 0 0

 

 A Day Without Food

February 11, 2001

Getting up from sleep, I had taken bath straight. As it was late, as usually happens to me almost every day to get up from sleep, I could do no work before taking bath. Evermore the yester-night I could not have sound sleep. Getting up from bed, I felt much hunger in my belly. But while I go to my kitchen to take my meal, my mother said: “I had cooked nothing as there is not food staff to be cooked.  Provide me with any of either rice or flour. I shall prepare food for us”. But I had neither money nor any means to buy food staff. Hence, I along with my dear younger brother took only little stale food and had to remain contented with it. I thought sometime: how I can procure food, but I could make out no means. But I am hopeful to the future than to the present. At noon, I went to the market, bought an instrument of carpentry and return home soon. At home, my mother was waiting for me, rebuked me, cursed me and at last called me a ‘worthless son’. I said nothing but only thought that there are lots of people in the world and yet there is no dearth of food. But the food is the monopolized property of the rich and who works hard by and night remain foodless. I thought and tried my best to find out the causes of inequality of property and wealth amongst the rich and the poor. My meditative mind finds out that the cause of poverty and inequality, especially economic inequality is that the majority of people have been being exploited by the ruling leaders as well as by the government service holders. The majority of people cultivate and produce food and goods but the minorities of people, who are generally educated, occupy them and exploit the majority by means of their salary which is much higher than the cultivators and labourers could bear. I think the existing laws of economics must be changed and instead, some new laws must be laid down which would decide the salary of the government service holders in proportion to their services, not to their positions, degrees or chairs. I think the salary of the service holders should not be more than the wages of a labourer.

I have experienced till now that it is poverty and poverty alone which is the root of all evils, all sins, all crimes, all indiscipline in a family as well as in society. To drive these evils, we must drive away inequality and must ban the privileges enjoyed by them who are in chairs. 0 0 0

 

Arguments With My Wife on the Sense of Beauty

 March 1, 2001

It was a day of business, of arguments and of gloomy mood. In the morning, I did the work of carpentry for some hours and my wife was making a door of bamboo. Here to say that my wife can make bamboo mats, bamboo wall and some other handicrafts. This day she was given to make a bamboo mat to make a temporary door. She was doing the work. But I noticed that she lacked devotion and in her work, it was visible that she did not give mind on the sense of beauty in making the door. From my first introduction to her, I noticed that she is negligent to the neatness, orderliness and discipline in her works. In some context, I told her about her negligence, but I could hardly teach the lesson of the sense of beauty. To give her a lesson, I made a harsh and rigid comment on her work and said:

“You must give emphasis in the sense of beauty in your work; because a thing of beauty lasts long”. And then I said, “I love you less because of your senselessness to aesthetics side of things.  This comment became butter in burning fire. She enraged with me. She wept and postponed the work in anger.

But what is ‘beauty’ and the ‘sense of beauty’? I mean decoration is not beauty. Instead, I think that simplicity, reasonable orderliness, discipline and neatness in doing and performing work is beauty. Beauty, as I think, is of two kind — internal beauty and external beauty. The real beauty lies not in the skin or body of a thing, it lies in the main substance or in the soul of a thing. But while a person works, the work becomes an art. And in doing or performing any art, one must keep up the natural simplicity, neatness, and proper method of doing it because I think, beauty lies on them.

I myself give emphasis on keeping up the sense of beauty in my every work as far as possible and I wish my wife to be so.

After my comment which was rigid and harsh, my wife had come to regard me as a cruel-hearted and affectionless person. But really I don’t so. My heart is full of kindness and love. I only sometimes become cruel to be kind. 0 0 0

 

 A Hungry Day

March 17, 2001

The last night was a night of somewhat insolence for mine and my wife. I desired carnal contact with her, but she declined and hence my rage arose and it reacted to my mind soon. I felt my brain had become hot and it developed to pain, so it snatched away the first half of the night without sleep. I quarrelled with her and said that I should go somewhere. It enraged her badly and it made her shed tears. Actually my brain was preoccupied with a thought of problem which I could not solve, so I decided to enjoy her with a view to forget the thought for a time being. But my wife did not understand me. I go to bed after 1 o’clock.

I get up early in the morning. For the day we had no food at our home. No food for us, no food for our poultry. No money was at hand to buy food. At 10 o’clock in the morning, my mother said out of the pain of hunger in hot temper.

“Give me food, my son.”

But we said nothing as we had no means to provide her with food. So we, including our domestic fowls, spent the day without food. 0 0 0

 

A Scene of Urinating in Public

March 21, 2001

I get up early in the morning and had done my chores, especially wall making with bamboo and went to Howly market riding on my bicycle. There I searched for Mr. Samsul, one of my colleagues at Halapakri Higher Secondary School. But I could not meet him. We hoped that this year, especially in this month, the Government would provincialise our school. But the news disappointed me. The list of granted schools had not been published by the Government yet, I have no other course to live on if the school is not get granted this year.

While returning home, I rode on my bicycle and was peddling it. While I come midway home, I saw that a Maruti car was coming from the east. Suddenly it stopped on the road and came out three women of it. One seemed married and the other two were unmarried young girls and a young boy, perhaps he was the driver. The cars after cars were coming and going and so were the pedestrians. Suddenly, I saw as it was in front of me, that the three women took off their undergarments and began to urinate, showing their thighs, hips and the secret organs. I got startled and ashamed of the sight. To urinate is a natural instinct of man and women. But everybody should urinate in a secret place so that people’s eyes cannot catch the action easily. The matter of women is more special as the hip, thigh etc. are the organs which may easily excite the sexual desire of a man. To get naked in front of other people is immortal, inhuman and unsocial as well as uncivilized. As there was other course to urinate in a private place the women should not urinate in public. It is generally seen and found that men are allured by the half-naked women and such women often become the victim of men’s sexual desire. Sex is an instinctive desire for both men and women. But it must have some limitation and women must protect themselves if they are not willing to be the victims of the sexual desire of men.

Everybody must obey some rules and regulations along with morality in human society.

For the whole remaining hours of the day, the sense gave rise to a painful thought in my conscious mind. 0 0 0

 

The Death of My Grandfather

May 7, 2001

It was somewhat late to get up from bed this day. Though late, I got up and went to the urinal straight. While I was coming back from the urinal, I heard a hue and cry at the home of my grandfather. The home of my grand-father is near to that of ours. To say, it is only some hundred yards away from our home. I could not make up what might be happened. Then without showing more eagerness to know, I took my tooth-brush and paste to brush my teeth. Very quickly I washed off my hand and face and then my wife came quickly to me and said in a sad voice “Our grandfather is no more. His  soul has left the  body.”I startled but pronounced within my mouth: “May his soul rest in peace.”

My grand-father whom we called in our vernacular tongue ‘nana’ was a naive man. He was illiterate, very simple and honest. He never knew how to enjoy amusement, any sports; he never listened to the radio, never enjoyed any film, never attend any public meeting, never made a quarrel with others. He often advised us to remain honest throughout life. He said, “The world is nothing; life on this earth is transient.” All total he was an emblem of honesty and simplicity and it was his honesty and for which everybody who came to his contact loved him and respect him wholeheartedly.

He begot six sons and four daughters. Among his offsprings, my mother was the eldest. At the time of his death, my mother was beside him as my mother went there very early before I got up from sleep.

Physically he was neither corpulent nor strong but thin, yet not with the skeleton. For about a year he was suffering from weakness. He ate very little. All the time during the last year, he spent in bed. Though he had many children, he could not provide them with sufficient land and property. So, his sons have been living in poverty. Yet all of his sons looked after him very attentively and carefully. Here to note that his three sons acquired modern education. Two of them were service holders; one of them was a professor but got no payment. At the time of his death, his professor son was not beside him who showed good care to him. He was in ‘Sontali College’ about a hundred and fifty kilometres away from home. Between this home and his college, there is the Brahmaputra River and it generally takes a day to communicate with him.

At noon, about 2:30 p.m. we arranged his funeral put him in the grave.

His death reminded me of my father’s death who died about two years and two months before my grandfather’s death. The whole day of mine spent in a mourning mood. And still, now his comment on the life on the earth echoes to my mind and heart, “The world is nothing. Life on this earth is a sport with dust and mud.” 0 0 0

 

A Busy Day

July 4, 2001

The last night, it had been very late to go to bed. Hence it became very late to get up the next morning. I repented for losing an hour in sleep. But what has been done cannot be undone. So I quickly took my hand and face washed and began my study. I studied an Indo-Anglian poem by Nizamat Jung (1871—) and wrote a critical note and critical appreciation of the poem entitled ‘Spirit of Light’. It is a romantic-mystic piece of poem. This poem made me think of mystic God for the whole day. Truly, we need meditation to make our heart pious and to make our desires temperate. After spending about an hour and a half, I put off my study and in a hurry took my bicycle and rode on it to pay a short visit to one of my relatives. Going there, I met Mr Eunosh and had talks with him for half an hour and then returned home as quickly as possible.

Coming home, I took bath and food and then I was about to sit on my study; but in the mean time, one of my cousin named Shah Alam came and I had a talk with him for more than two hours. We talked on spiritual affairs, on scriptures and on some literary terms and phrases. I gave him, after his curiosity, some instructions on the methods of preparing a thesis paper. I said to him, as I have gotten from my experience, that a researcher should have only one goal to achieve success within a specified period. While it was 2 p.m. he left me and in a hurry I took my hand and face washed and having a glass of water as my lunch, I sat down to my research work. But I could do nothing to my research as my mind was full of anxiety regarding some literary terms and their exact meanings. Studying their etymologies in various dictionaries I made out a general, common meaning to be used in my research writings.

At night, I studied Indo-Anglian poetry and had written a detail notes with appreciation and when it was the late midnight I went to bed and soon sleep came to my mind and eyes and had a sound sleep. 0 0 0

 

Why A Child Become Unwilling to Go to School

October 8, 2001

Doing my usual morning duties and taking my meals, I was about to prepare myself to go to my class. Here is to say that now, I have been serving as an honorary subject teacher of English in Halapakri Madrassa Higher Secondary School. Just that moment, a loud cry comes to my ears from a neighbouring house. He is crying and crying and hearing his crying, I come to realize that the child was helpless. But why? I ask my mother. My mother replied, “The son of your maternal uncle has been crying because his parents are beating him.” I ask my mother again, “Why are his parents beating the child?” My mother replied, “They are beating the child because the child is unwilling to go school.” At the meantime, I have come to hear the loud sound of beating the child. 

This event suddenly changed my mood for the rest of the day. This case seems to me to be most pathetic and deplorable ever I think in life. This reminded me of my passed school days. During my student life,  every day, I was unwilling to go to school. The school was an abhorrent thing in my life. My school life had been the most troublesome and wearisome that I experienced in life. But why did I hate school or why a child like me hates school? I think there are some common reasons which hold good to every child. Most of these causes are psychological and few are economical and social.

The first and foremost cause of it, as it seems to me, is that the school: their environments, its curriculum, its methods of teaching, its aim of educating the child do not correspond to the psychology of children. 

But what is the psychology of children? To get the answer to this question one would say that it is a matter of psychologist and scientists to find out after deep research. But if everything is left for the scientists to be settled down then it would take thousand and thousand years to get a common standard of ways to living. I think a man can get knowledge regarding human behaviour, hopes, desires and wills if he can study human instincts. A human being is generally guided by his instincts and in human society, for natural peace and order, a man should refine and generalize his instincts in the balance of reason. Here to say that human instincts remain the same in all ages only they change their dresses and propensity with the changes of time. Studying my own instincts and psychology and comparing these instincts with that of others, I have come to the following conclusions regarding child psychology that—-

1. Children are inclined to get more liberty i.e. natural freedom.

2. Children like to get more enjoyment.

3. Children like to get more good things than they are generally given.

4. Children like to use their hand and their limbs more than the brain.

5. Children like to use their brain according to their own will not according to the advice of others.

6. Children generally i.e. instinctively like sports than to do routine work-imposed upon them authoritatively.

7. Children like to change their work or play waywardly. In other words, to say, their minds are fickle and unsteady. 

8. Children like to learn everything practically, not theoretically. 

9. Children always like to own their necessary things without delay.

10. Children are curious. They like to learn by questioning.

These are the instincts of children i.e. child psychology.

Now, the talk is that we should always try our best to give the environment befitting this instinctive nature of children. Hence while we emphasise a child to go to school we should be mindful to their natural needs and instinctive hopes and desire. To say in other words the environment of school should be built after considering this nature of children.

Before sending the children to school, the authority and guardians should understand the aims and objectives of going to school and they should explain why the children should go to school and thus they should be motivated to go school.

I think that the purpose of school should teach the children these things, matters, habits and works which are fundamental to all human beings, such as—discipline, truthfulness, carefulness, reasoning and these physical dealings such as how to eat, drink, sleep, bathe, sit, what to do and what not to do and how to communicate with others. I think not a single unnecessary or special thing should be taught in school. School should teach the students all these things, works and habits which are common to a peasant, to a philosopher to a businessman and even to a labourer or to a king. 

1.  As children like more merriment both physically and mentally, they should give more enjoyment at school than they generally get at home.

2. As the children like to get more good things so a child should provide with more good things while he is sent to school and even at school the things which are given to children should be better or more standard than they are given at home.

3. Children like to use their hands and limbs more than they use their brain. So school should give them all these things practising and doing which the children can use their limbs and learn through enjoyment.

4. Children like to use their brain according to their own will. So the school should encourage them to use their own brain or the school should let them do things which they can be done after using their own understanding.

5. Children are instinctively very fond of playing than doing work, so the children should be allowed to play at school. 

6. As the children’s minds are fickle and unsteady they should be given the right to change their doings after their will.

7. Children like to learn everything practically not theoretically. So what is given to the children to do they should be given to do practically, not theoretically.

8. Children like to own their necessary things, so all the necessary things which are reasonable should be given to the children while he is sent to school. 

Here to say that the seventy per cent of the world population is very poor. They do not get fundamental things to use in everyday life. So they are unable to provide the necessary things to their children. If they do not get necessary things then the aim of educating the children would prove futile. 

The children are curious. They like to know everything by questioning the elders. So the elders should try to answer rightly to their questions with the theoretical analysis.

It is white truth that no school or no authority mind these things deeply. So, the aim of schooling have been failing lamentably and that is why I hated school life and it is the same reasons for which more children hate school and becomes unwilling to go to school. 0 0 0

 

A Visit to Shitoli

September 23, 2002

Shitoli is a village under Mandia Block in the district of Barpeta. It is  situated in the south-west side of Barpeta town. It is about 10 kilometres away from the town of Barpeta. Before this visit, I had gone twice in the market of Mandia, but there is a significant background of my present visit to Mandia as well as to Shitoli. The background is that as I am separated from my first wife, I am willing to marry for the second time. Hence one of my far off uncles had been asking me to get married. So one day, he came to my house with other three men without giving me previous information. They had taken an extempore interview of me and invited me to go to Shitoli with a view to see a bride. At first, I gave no importance because, for us, Mandia is a backward region and underdeveloped in communication. Secondly, I had heard once and again that the people of Mandia are rough and rigid in nature and temperament. Thirdly, I had heard that the girls of that locality are fickle in lovemaking.

Though they invited me to visit their home with a view to have an interview with a bride, yet, for these reasons I declined the invitation. Thus four months passed by and I had been forgetting the invitation. But my uncle emphasized me to pay a visit to the place. It is my nature that hardly can I decline the offer of anybody. So, at last, I conceded to the invitation. The date had been fixed to be 23rd September 2002. I took casual leave from my institute.

The day arrived. Our decision was that we would arrive at Kayakuchi Market very morning where my uncle will accompany us. I took Shah Alam, a cousin of mine with me. While I have to select any companion to somewhere I became very careful in selecting one. I select Shah Alam, the son of my maternal uncle because he is considerate, wise and seems to be reasonable in taking any decision.

But the weather was so bad. It had been raining since last night. Hence we were late by an hour and started our journey at 7 o’clock. We took a bicycle and arrived at Kayakuchi Market at eight-thirty in the morning. But arriving there we found that the uncle had been nowhere in the market. So keeping Shah Alam in the market, I went to the home of my uncle, who was our middle man. His home was about a kilometre eastward from Kayakuchi market. I fetched him to the market on my bicycle.

About 11:30 the bus arrived and we got on the bus. While it became 1:30 p.m. we arrived at Mandia Market and got on a boat which sailed us to Shitoli at 2:30 p.m. and getting off the boat we walked about half an hour and arrived at the house of a friend’s home of my uncle. While we reached there it became 3 p.m. All our hope of returning from that place dried away and we had to stay there for that night. They received us with a warm heart. The name of the host of that home was Mr Abul. He seemed uneducated but cultured. He listens to radio regularly and was acquainted with contemporary international affairs. His age seemed to be forty-five. He made a good conversation with us.

The next day morning i.e. 24th September 2002 at 9 o’clock we became ready to go to our destination i.e. to the bride’s home to have an interview with her as well as with her parents. It had been raining heavily since morning. Her house was a furlong away from the home of Mr Abul. At 9:30 a.m. we arrived at that home. We took rest and sat idle for an hour and at 11 o’clock the bride appeared in front of us. My younger cousin, Shah Alam asked some questions to her and at 12 o’clock we took farewell from them and returned home. 0 0 0

 

I Have Come Across a Great Book

April 2, 2002

For the last many days I have not written a word in my diary, though some memorable and worth noted events have happened to my life. Amongst some memorable and worth noted events— one is the separation of mine from my wife, Mrs Marina, the other is my appearance in the dock at the court as an accused husband done by my dear wife whom I wished to keep to be mine forever. But it is especially my poor economic means of sustenance which contributed much to the incident of our separation. The main talk to say is that I am a meditative sort of being and less worldly and more spiritual and philosophic. Most of my times is generally spent after the thought of the forlorn condition of humans in the world for which I get little time to earn my livelihood whereas I have a very little means to cultivate food for our family. On the other hand, my wife Mrs Marina was a woman of fashion and worldly mode for which she could hardly cope with me. It was the main cause of separation. It gives me pain and grief. But what happens to a good man happens for the best. So I have nothing to sit idle repenting on the incident. I wish and pray to God, may God bestow peace and happiness on my dear wife in her next married life and if I see her so I shall be happy.

Another worth mentioning and even interesting matter to be noted is that recently I have read a book—a great book, really a great book. The name of the book is Duty by Samuel Smiles. The book is one of the few best books I have read in my life till now. It is a book written on human qualities which everybody should have, practise in life for a happy and peaceful glorious meaningful life in society. The book has influenced me much because it excited me to practice the human qualities such as—a sense of duty, honesty, courage, patience, love and discipline to which, I, for so long, have been showing honour. After reading this book, I become more and more conscious of these human qualities. I think these qualities are fundamental things of human life which can make a man perfect. I have read the ‘Bible’ and other scriptures, but it is ‘Duty’ by Samuel Smiles which has fallen a good impact upon me. The author of the book, S. Smiles has shown a good skill in representing his matters in the book quoting best from history and literature citing the great events of great men that have contributed much to the welfare of human civilization. I think everybody should read the book to get inspiration and excitement as to be a man of strong character which determines the peace and happiness to everybody as well to human society. 0 0 0

 

 The End of ‘A Few Pages of My Lost Dary’

 

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